The heat of the mid-morning sun blazes down on my face. Wind in my hair, tied up in a messy bun. A slight smell of dust in the air. Hiking through the yellow blades of grass as high as my midsection. Some of the grass is stuck to my shoe. Suddenly, I feel the ground trembling. I hear hoofs hitting the ground. Very close by a heard of antelope are running past me. I freeze. Damn, I’m in the open and I don’t even have a knife with me. This happened more than ten years ago now, but I can describe that moment in detail. In fact, I can still taste the salty sweat as it was dripping down my forehead, which felt sticky and dirty.
In that moment, I felt my full attention pull into me. I was acutely aware: I am alive. Probably the adrenaline as my mind sensed I may find myself in danger. I never was. But that moment is forever stuck in High Definition, in my mind.
Most moments pass by in dull monotonous beats. We do so many things out of habit. Even the lane I choose to drive while on my way to work is as much part of my routine as the fact that I drink coffee before I switch on my workstation P.C. I remember to say, “Good Morning.” More of a habit than anything else. And sometimes I find myself woken from the autopilot wondering, what was I just doing? This is what’s it’s like when you are not feeling the moment. When you are not being mindful. Your entire day, month, year – can fly by in a haze and you wonder where did the time go.
Feeling the moment, being mindful, being aware is hard when you don’t have a shot of adrenaline. I’ve gotten much better, due to a regular meditation practice. But there are moments I can’t bear the dullness of it all. I’d rather not be in the moment. So I choose to let the autopilot fly, while I’m out dreaming of a different life.
Not the precious moments I have with my children or husband. I cherish those little smiles and hugs. They anchor me to life. And intentionally, I try to be fully present then. Sometimes I fail, when I’m thinking too much or trying to do too many things at once.
All we ever have is the present of this moment. The past is gone, the future is not guaranteed.
There is only now. This moment. Here’s Pitbull & Christina Aguileria reminding us to feel this moment.
This post links to a month’s long daily blogging challenge, during November. See who else has signed up to be a Little Pepper HERE. It’s called NANO POBLANO/ NaBloPoMo.
About the Author
Sarina often sat on the peaks of the dunes of Southern Africa watching the ocean tide drift in. A daydreamer, often dreaming up stories for lands somewhere over the rainbow. She is a mother, a wife, a blogger and an overall creative spirit. Above all, she is a human being.
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