What to do with relentless disappointments (hope for the hopeless)

Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life.

(Proverbs 13:12 – KJV)

Hope deferred, that’s when you wait on something, and keep on hoping and keep on endlessly waiting. Relentless disappointments, as the Message translation puts it.

This could be a potential job or business opportunity, which never panned out. It could be a marriage partner which you have yet to meet. Your plans (even the ones you thought were from God) always thrown off track by this and then the next problem. Or perhaps it is a justice delayed. An unsaved loved one you keep on praying for.

You find a dead bird lying at your feet. Picking it up, you worry did no one bother to feed him? How could this be? What horror then awaits me! In your hand the lifeless fowl, a picture of your own situation. Constantly stuck between survival mode and discontent. Knowing in your innermost core, that things are supposed to be better.

The relentless frustration becomes your way of life, “When God, when? ” becomes the mantra of your every-day. Eventually, you just want to give up, if it could just let you go. After all, if, for example, you reach a certain age, what use is it to find a marriage partner, when you had wanted children? At some point, the desire for children becomes an unfulfilled dream. You can’t see the point of this thing happening beyond a certain timeline. You simply no longer have the energy.

You find this scenario in different situations.

Your dreams and desires, an ocean of sorrow, and you’re drowning.

Have you ever wondered what Jesus was thinking as he stood at the shore, right before he walked out on the water towards the boat on which his disciples were battling the storm?

It was the early morning, hours before the break of dawn. He had spent the night praying. Did his eyes drift over the beach, as he took a step for a step closer towards the water? Did he think about how it must be to find a natural precious pearl right there, hidden in a washed-up shell? Such a rare treasure! Is this how God views me?

I’ve been wondering about the feet of Jesus lately. Specifically, as he stood at the shore, those early morning hours right before he’d walk out towards the people he was teaching, and loving on. Did he hear the whispers of songs sung hundreds of years before, by a scattered and exiled nation waiting on the fulfilment of God’s promise? A longing for a saviour which would finally free them from the terror of this world.

“By the rivers of Babylon, there we sat down, yea, we wept, when we remembered Zion.
We hanged our harps upon the willows in the midst thereof.
For there they that carried us away captive required of us a song; and they that wasted us required of us mirth, saying, Sing us one of the songs of Zion.
How shall we sing the Lord’s song in a strange land?”

(Psalm 137 vs 1 to 4)

And as the old hymn, “I Wonder a I Wander” puts it if Jesus had wanted for any wee thing, he surely could have had it, cause he was the King. Instead, he chose to walk in humbleness. An example of meekness and surrender to the will of God.

I sit here and wonder why Jesus resigned willingly to a brutal death. His own free will, in complete submission to God the father.

“My God, my God why have you forsaken me,” the first verse of Psalm 22, some of the last words on His lips.

An ocean of sorrow. My God, what despair he must have felt at Adam’s fall. Knowing in his innermost core, by his true design, things should have been better.

Every one of us, like a precious treasure, each one of us a unique pearl. Each one a dream God once had. A perfect vision for a hope and a future. What deep longing God has to be reconciled to you, to me, to us? Calling out to us, “when child, when will you return to my heart?” A relationship wrecked by man’s own bad choices, a world corrupted after the fall.

Into this, He sent His only begotten, unique as He is God, the son who is also God, whereof there is only one. And each one of us before a choice. Yay God, or Nay God. Jesus our only chance. A new promise, a new pact the new covenant sealed in the sacrifice that only Jesus could make.

“But this shall be the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel; After those days, saith the Lord, I will put my law in their inward parts, and write it in their hearts; and will be their God, and they shall be my people.”

Jeremia 31:33 (KJV)

By the blood of Jesus, we are sprinkled and become pure.

My Jesus. In his hand the thorny crown of suffering. Did I notice how they mocked Him? Never did he bother with man’s empty praise. Would I relinquish possession of the dead bird in my hand, so that I can hold the crown of thorns in His?

In His hands, the bird revives and takes flight. Oh, the great heart of my own heart, whatever befall, be thou my vision, Oh Ruler of all.

“If we’re his children, then we’re his heirs. We are heirs of God, and heirs together with Christ. But if we want to share in his glory we must share in his sufferings.”

Romans 8:17 (FBV)

“The more we share in Christ’s sufferings, the more we receive the abundant comfort of Christ.”

2 Corinthians 1:5 (FBV)

Short Disclaimer on this post:

Some people sing, and others dance when they worship. I can do none of these things very well. But I can write, maybe not very well – but well enough. This post is a reflection between hope deffered and the Father’s heart when we choose to follow our own paths. I wrote this post, the way I would have painted a picture. I intend it more of an artwork than a biblical teaching. The intention is to get closer to the heart of God. Even in times when I feel hopeless, even when I feel that all my prayer requests go unanswered, I do not come to God expecting him to do stuff for me. I come to Him as a child goes to her father, and sometime I just want us to talk it out.

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